Love Pattern Quiz
What pattern are you bringing into ReLATIONSHIPS?
There are no right or wrong answers. Choose the response that feels most like your first instinct, especially when you feel emotionally triggered, uncertain, rejected, or deeply connected. Don't choose the answer you think you should give. Choose the one that most honestly reflects you.
1. When someone you care about suddenly becomes distant, you usually:
A. Reach out, ask what's wrong, or try to restore the connection.
B. Pull back and give them space, even if you're hurt.
C. Wonder what you did wrong and consider what you could change.
D. Analyze their behavior and look for clues about what's really happening.
E. Notice the distance, communicate when appropriate, and continue tending to yourself.
2. During an argument with someone you love, your strongest instinct is to:
A. Resolve it as soon as possible because unresolved tension is difficult for you.
B. Get away from the situation until you feel emotionally safe again.
C. Find a way to make peace, even if you have to compromise your position.
D. Figure out who's right, what caused the problem, and how to prevent it from happening again.
E. Take space if needed while remaining willing to have an honest conversation.
3. When you're afraid someone may leave you, you are most likely to:
A. Hold on tighter and seek reassurance.
B. Detach before they have the opportunity to hurt you.
C. Become more accommodating or try harder to become what they need.
D. Watch their behavior closely and try to predict what they're going to do.
E. Acknowledge the fear without allowing it to dictate your behavior.
4. Someone you love asks for space. Your immediate internal reaction is closest to:
A. “Are we okay? What does this mean for us?”
B. “Fine. I'll give them space—and I'll create some of my own.”
C. “Maybe I did something wrong. What can I do to make this better?”
D. “Why do they need space? What's really going on?”
E. “I can respect their space while remaining grounded in myself.”
5. When you're unhappy in a relationship, you tend to:
A. Talk about it repeatedly because you need things to feel connected again.
B. Keep your feelings to yourself until you can process them alone.
C. Minimize your needs because you don't want to create conflict.
D. Focus on what needs to change and try to fix the relationship.
E. Clearly communicate your needs and decide what you will and won't accept.
6. You notice your partner is giving someone else attention that makes you uncomfortable. You are most likely to:
A. Seek reassurance that your relationship is secure.
B. Become emotionally distant rather than reveal how much it bothers you.
C. Avoid bringing it up because you don't want to seem jealous or difficult.
D. Investigate the situation and try to determine exactly what's happening.
E. Acknowledge your feelings and have a direct conversation about boundaries.
7. When someone you love is upset with you, you tend to:
A. Need to know that the relationship is still okay.
B. Feel an urge to shut down or disappear.
C. Apologize quickly, sometimes before you've determined whether you were actually wrong.
D. Explain your reasoning and try to get them to understand your perspective.
E. Listen, take responsibility where appropriate, and communicate your own perspective.
8. Which statement sounds most like your approach to relationships?
A. “I need to feel connected to feel secure.”
B. “I need freedom and space to feel safe.”
C. “I need harmony, even if I sometimes have to sacrifice my own needs.”
D. “I need to understand what's happening so I can feel in control.”
E. “I want deep connection without losing myself.”
9. When you really love someone, you are most likely to:
A. Invest heavily in the relationship and want a strong sense of closeness.
B. Love deeply but still maintain significant emotional independence.
C. Give generously and anticipate their needs.
D. Think deeply about the relationship and work hard to make it successful.
E. Give deeply while maintaining your identity, boundaries, and individual life.
10. When you realize you've been hurt by someone you love, you tend to:
A. Want them to acknowledge the hurt and reassure you.
B. Create distance so you can't be hurt that way again.
C. Forgive quickly or focus on their perspective before fully processing your own pain.
D. Revisit the situation repeatedly, trying to understand what happened and why.
E. Allow yourself to feel the hurt, communicate it, and decide what the experience means for the relationship.
11. When you're uncertain about where a relationship is going, you tend to:
A. Want clarity and reassurance quickly.
B. Act like you don't care and emotionally prepare yourself to walk away.
C. Adapt yourself to whatever the other person seems to want.
D. Analyze every interaction for evidence about the future.
E. Ask for clarity while remaining open to whatever the answer reveals.
12. At your healthiest in love, you believe:
A. Love should feel deeply connected and reassuring.
B. Love should never require you to lose your independence.
C. Love requires generosity, compromise, and consideration.
D. Love works best when both people are intentional and willing to solve problems.
E. Love can be deeply intimate without requiring either person to abandon themselves.
How to Score Your Love Pattern Quiz
For each question, note which letter you chose (A, B, C, D, or E) and then count how many times you picked each letter. Each choice corresponds to a specific way you relate in love.
- A = The Chaser
- B = The Protector
- C = The Pleaser
- D = The Controller
- E = The Sovereign
Your highest score shows your primary Love Pattern, representing your most natural instinct in relationships. However, the other letters you chose still matter and reveal secondary patterns that influence your dynamics.
If you’d like help understanding your pattern and shifting into healthier love, you’re welcome to book a Love & Relationship Reading or explore my programs.